My new distraction from productivity...

...is Wizard 101.

It's quite possibly the cutest game ever that still has enjoyable gameplay. (Except for maybe Fur Fighters on the Dreamcast. That was Halo with fuzzy animals.)

And, like all my favorite games, it's free.

However, the chat system is super annoying. For one thing, many of the players are under 13 and can only use canned chat. Everyone older than that may use general chat, but the filters are severe and edit out anything not recognized by the system's dictionary, including many common emotes and abbreviations.

In some ways, this is a good thing. It eliminates profanity and encourages proper spelling (HOORAY!) in one fell swoop. Since the game promotes itself as family-friendly, the heavy filters and restrictions make perfect sense. And players 18 and up can choose to enable Open Chat, which is strictly monitored but not filtered. However, you can't enable Open Chat unless you pay to subscribe to the game. And damned if I'm going to spend money just to be able to say damn.

You can't really evaluate Wizard 101 on the same terms as Dungeons and Dragons Online, which is always full of lively dispute about stats, rolls, classes and saves. And you can't even compare it to the awkward sexual tension that often characterizes common chat in Perfect World.

Let's just say I don't play Wizard 101 for the scintillating conversation or social interaction. I play it because it's fun, cute, and totally addictive.

World chat. Lulz.

Tonight was frustrating for a variety of reasons, but world chat, at least, did not fail to amuse.

Mawwiage.

I realized today that I have neglected to mention one of the weirdest things about Perfect World:

You can get married.

Yes, you can pay some gold for a wedding pack and visit an NPC called the Eldest Matchmaker and get hitched to your sweetie... or whoever answers your world chat message proclaiming "RICH SEXXY BM LOOKIN 4 HOT WIFE W/ BIG BOOBS!! PM ME!!!!1"

Benefits of being married are, as I see it, threefold:

• As a wedding gift, you receive a bunch of items. That do something. I'm not sure what.
• When you grind with your spouse (oh, the puns!), you get extra experience from the enemies you kill.
• From that day forward a sign floats above your head, over your name and your faction's name: "So-and-so's Wife/Husband." Because you can never have too much text hat.
  

Then, of course, there's also the system announcement that proclaims to the entire server that the two of you are now husband and wife. This is usually followed by a cascade of world chat and private messages, from other players you may or may not know, congratulating you.

It seems there are two main attitudes toward marriage.

Some people take it really really seriously. They tell each other in world chat--which, by the way, costs money--how they will love them forever. This is kind of creepy... but I have to fight the urge to also call it sweet.

Then there are other people who forget they're married, cuddling and smooching other players. Adultery, I say! Disgusting! This can cause some drama in world chat... some calling of names, some character assassination, etc.

Luckily, it is possible to divorce your cheating spouse! Yes, for 2 million coins you can annul a marriage.

I will never forget this message I saw in world chat one day: "WANT TO SELL MY CLOTHES SO I CAN DIVORCE WIFE. PM ME."

Then, later, "WIFE FOR SALE, 2 MIL."

I have mixed feelings about the whole idea of marriage in a game.

On the one hand, it's just silly. I mean, it's a game. Let's not be obsessive here. There's something a little creepy about "marrying" someone you've probably never met in person--even if it's not a true marriage, it's a facsimile thereof.

On the other hand... I'm tempted. Marriage is just cute. Every time I see characters holding each other, some part of me goes, "Awwwwwwww!" And it would be nice to have someone to rely on for help killing things and questing.

I would never consider marrying some random player. It would have to be someone I had spent a lot of time talking to, someone near my level, someone I already did a lot of grinding (*snicker, snicker*) with. And I don't have anybody like that right now.

Kind of like in real life.

Funny how that works.

It's not eavesdropping if it's common chat.

At least, that's my firm belief. So I didn't feel too guilty for screenshotting the following conversation between a cute female elf named Silveste and a lovestruck male elf named WeedInhaler:



"I hope you guys know I'm totally screenshotting this," I told them. And he called me a bitch and I flew away.

*Headdesk*

I don't do a lot of either world chat or common chat in PWI, but I do keep an eye on what others are saying. Every once in a while I come across something like this and have a sudden urge to slam my forehead onto my desk.


Later on, though, I found a rare piece of true wit.