I'm a noob. A sad noob.

Today is the first day I've ever felt like a total loser while playing an online game.

I've been trying out Dungeons and Dragons Online, and it's been fun, even though it's very different than the games I'm used to. Combat is more difficult and requires more concentration; skills, stats, and leveling up are all WAY more complicated, and the community is... Dungeons and Dragons guys.

This means the chat window is packed full of debate about whether it's better to be a ranger/rogue or a rogue/ranger, etc., and most of it goes straight over my head.

It's possible to do most quests alone, but you can go back with a party and do it on a higher difficulty for more experience and loot. When someone asks you to join a party, it's most likely because they want to do some hardcore experience grinding. That's what these guys tonight were after when they recruited my level 2 paladin, Hausse Heiathan.

I had trouble finding the dungeons. I couldn't figure out how to make my heal kit work, so I couldn't resurrect a guy who had died. I misread my character sheet. About the only thing I could be counted on to do was to flail my sword around wildly and apologize for messing up.

While we were doing one quest on the hardest difficulty possible, 3 of us died and Schmoopy got disconnected. Xade, or whatever his name was, kept shouting for someone to take his soul stone to the resurrection shrine.

Death is so confusing in DDO. I still don't really understand how it works. Apparently when you die your body lies on the ground, a soul stone hovers above this body, and you also turn into a ghost, which can run around for a limited distance.

I ran with my ghost to the resurrection shrine, came back to life, and re-entered the fray.

Oh, guess what? If you leave the room where the boss is, you automatically fail the quest.

"Damn it, Hausse!" said Xade.

I couldn't handle it. I left the squad. Then I signed off. Then I started writing this pathetic blog post about how hurt my feelings are. I can't shake the feeling that people would cut me more slack if I used my female character instead of manly Hausse.

I think I'll go back to playing pretty Asian games where everyone is nice.